I have since gotten a bird for each baby I have lost. Every year we hang then on our Christmas tree as a way to remember that though they are not here with us, each one of our babies is a part of our family.
And they are a part of our story.
It's a story that began on November 11, 2009 when I had my first miscarriage and it continued to unfold through the next five miscarriages I would have in the years after.
Our story is filled with grief and joy; lament and praise; sorrow and hope; and enough tears to fill an ocean. And it's a story written by an AUTHOR who promised us that no matter what befell us, HE was always working for our good.
On the surface, it's hard to see what good can come from the deaths of six babies and from the agony we felt after each loss, but if we only look at the surface of our lives, we miss so much of what can be learned and what can be shared.
For us, below the surface of our losses was the chance to be vocal about our pain in ways that people had not heard or were accustomed to. At times, it was too raw for some but it was the truth of where we were at in our journey and it began to raise awareness around us about the pain of infertility and the real grief that comes when you lose a baby, no matter how long you carried them.
As we began to talk more about our infertility and losses, more people came forward with their own stories and over time it became evident that not only was there a need to comfort and listen to these hurting people, but there was also a need to show those who had not known such loss or gone through infertility how to care for their friends and family members.
The Baby Bird Project was born out of our desire to honor the lives of babies who will never know this side of heaven; to remind grieving parents that they are not alone in their sorrow; to provide hope to those journeying through infertility; and to share with others how to walk the road the road of disappointment, grief, longing, and sorrow with those that have lost a baby or are in the midst of their infertility journeys.
If you have lost a baby- no matter how long ago- know that we share in your grief because we know all too well that the loss of a baby also brings the loss of a dream. Your tears do not go unnoticed. Your pain is shared. And your need for hope does not go unanswered.
If you are walking the road of infertility, know that we share in the frustration, disappointment, and sorrow that comes when your arms are still empty after all of the testing, hoping, and praying. Infertility requires so much physically and emotionally and it's no wonder that you have moments/days/weeks/months that feel unrelenting and unending.
If you know someone who has lost a baby or is journeying through infertility, know that we understand the questions and the uncertainty that comes when you are trying to figure out what to say in an attempt to comfort and support them. The feelings around loss and infertility can be so foreign and intimidating that it can be tempting to choose to do or say nothing at all.
We hope that The Baby Bird Project helps bring comfort in the midst of loss and grief; eases the pain of hopelessness and disappointment and the burden of frustration and anger; and that it equips others to know how best to care for and love those who are hurting and struggling in this season of their lives.
